Do you equate any of the Hanson brothers with biblical figures?

Or perhaps more relevantly, if you HAD to equate the Hanson brothers with a biblical figure, saint, religious icon or character in mythology, who would it be and why?

Originally my line of thought was hovering more around christian biblical Old Testament/ New Testament vein, seeing as how the brothers were raised Evangelical Christians. (totally correct me if I am wrong.) Buuuut I am open to the thoughts of others and options for a non-christian religious/quasi-religious interpretation of the bros.

More details under the cut.

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dansrusse:

A: Who is your favorite troll? Equ eeu oosuu sama
B: Who is your favorite kid? Rose… Jake… Dave…Dirk….fuck so many faves
C: Original kids or the new ones? Er New ones are cool!
D: Jake or John? Jake
E: Bro or Dave? ……..TIE
F: Mom or Rose? Rose. I like Roxy lots, but, you see, I would DATE Rose.
G: Jane or Jade? Jade EASILY sorry Jane ur rly rly boring
H: Favorite Album? Volume 5. Or the Wanderers. Nah, Volume 5
I: Favorite Page? Why would I have one? The one where Equius gets some mack daddy robot lovins
J:Favorite Act? Six!
K: Are there any twists you would make to the plot if you could? Wehh….I…realize Eq was a joke character from the beginning but I want him to have more screentime. And I want there to be some finality between Equius and Aradia. They break it off? Fine. She gets with Sollux? Whatever. I garuntee I will ship it as soon as it becomes canon. But I really do think she left him hanging and I want me some dialogue!
L: Hussie ended homestuck; reaction GIF?
M: Which is better? (homestuck, Problem sleuth etc.) I’ve only read Homestuck.
N: Do you have a OC? Kinda hard not to. But only one!!! “self as troll”
O: Tell us about your OC. Cercis Fallax. ceriseCotyledon, 9 sweeps, goldish-yellowblood, corkscrew horns,Ceres astroglyph as symbol, overalls, rainboots, ponytail, skin discolored in some areas for being constantly sunburnt (darker greys), only d8s b100ndeb100ds, scythekind, feircely proud of lower middle class blood color, brooding, solemn, contradictory, insatiable case of wanderlust and a penchant for tresspassing, lives secluded in a swamp with a giant potted venus flytrap lusus, aspiring cartographer, gets lost in the marshes surrounding swampland, from an aerial view these make crop circles, apprenticing as imperial field botanist: one who scouts out flora on foreign planets conquested by Her Condesce. Got this job thru ~Connections~ with epidemiologist seadweller friend (Kirsten’s fantroll). Fantroll n friends still living on Alternia, about to be shipped out any day now. Avoided culling by having a matesprit for a while, still “owes” Drone the kismesis quadrant, has moiral, many past auspitices, none at present. They do not play sGrub.
P: Draw your OC.
Q:Your favorite troll is killed; reaction GIF Home of the horse lords.
R: Who is your Patron Troll? Karkat
S: Do you like your patron troll? He’s such a bitch! But he’s really fun to read for so I guess, yeah, he’s alright
T: Without homestuck which fandom would you be in atm? Hanson I guess? I ~am~ in both. Seeing as how I draw more Hanson then Homestuck ummm fuck idk maybe I’d draw fanart for Metalocalypse, only it would be of Skwisgaar and Toki dismembering eachother so as to combat the slash? Fuck.
U: You can go with Hussie to any destination for a whole day; where and why? Olive Garden DUH. We would just sit there for a full 24 hours refusing to leave and I’d binge on their salad and tiramisu, we wouldn’t even talk about Homestuck, we’d just eat tiramisu, and talk about tiramisu, and eventually I would be just like Hussie why are you even here I don’t want to talk to you I don’t want to read Homestuck I just wanna eat this fucking tiramisu.
V: You can go with any homestuck charecter to any destination for a whole day; where and why? Equius. A death metal concert. I’d just sit on his shoulders and watch him fuckin go to work in the mosh pit, everyone would be dead by the end of the show: Brutal
W: All the trolls die accept one (you chose) who would it be. Equius and then we’ll get so married
X: You have to end homestuck in a single page… you have 20 min: The Alpha kids meet the mini ancestors who thenmeet the Beta kids/trolls and 500 headcanons are fulfilled and right as Equius is about to high five Darkleer there is another “scratch” and this scene repeats itself like a million times and as we zoom out from Skaia we see the universe devolve into blackness, the blackness becomes a record, we see hands spinning the record, we see a very unfashionable clunky state-of-the-art digital wristwatch and a single blonde rattail hanging dangerously close to the turntables,Wicka Wicka Wicka, it’s Taylor Hanson employing that obscenely overused record scratching noise, suddenly everything is MMMBop and nothing hurts.
Y: Do you cosplay? Mmmmm closet cosplay? At partystucks? I might go to EXPcon in october as Aradia, we’ll see
Z: What’s your favorite fan art that you’ve created? …The only fanart I’ve created

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